Kian Hansen | Winning in a different way
I ran deep into the woods and hid myself.
I remember it so clearly. We played a youth match against Tjæreborg. I was 10. We lost 5-3 even though we had a great team back then.
We almost played on an open empty field.
The defeat made me so angry that I immediately ran into a forest nearby and hid myself from the others. Alone and frustrated.
Winning mentality. Maybe other people would call him a bad loser, but in Kian Hansen’s opinion it is a question about motivation. He is obsessed by winning.
At that moment I blamed everyone around me.
Everything exploded in my body, and it still does when I lose or win a football match.
It’s two completely different feelings.
And it has to be that way, if you want to succes.
Kian grew up in Grindsted, a small danish town outside of Billund, with his mother, father and sister. It was a small community where everyone knew each other. Time dragged on if he didn’t do anything.
All in all a quiet boy - or maybe not?
Well, it depends on the person, you ask. If you ask my mother, she would probably describe me as a ‘pain in the arse’ sometimes.
A boy with ants in his pants.
I was not good at doing nothing. I made a hideout of broken branches, played football, tennis and badminton. Everything at the same time.
And I wanted to win at any price.
I don’t do things by halves.
I fight for every win.
Maybe you know the type. The one who does not care whether you win or lose. They just want to be a part of the game. Kian is not like this. Not at all!
First and foremost I hate the danish expression saying that you have to win or lose with the same mentality. It’s not possible.
I remember that this expression was on the backside of a medal from a kids tournament called Pondus Cup, and I hated it.
If you enter the pitch with that feeling, there is no reason to play.
I could almost say that you have to be willing to cheat to win, but that is not who I am.
You have to do everything to get the three points.
There needs to be some kind of fire inside you.
Chasing the thrill of winning.
The euphoria.
Back home with the local boys in Grindsted, Kian was the star. But the 13-year-old boy wanted some challenge. In the summer of 2002 he moved away from his safe environment and started playing in Esbjerg fB, where they didn’t train for the fun of it. Everyone wanted to win at any price.
I told one of my friends that I was getting into deep water with my move from Grindsted to Esbjerg.
I wanted to put pressure on myself - go over my depth.
Following my dream.
Many kids dream of becoming a pro footballer. But I'm not sure how many of them actually put in the effort it requires.
It wasn’t fun travelling to Esbjerg everyday, 45 minutes each way, in the belief of succeeding...
But I had to try.
And that paid off. Quickly the rumours start flourishing about an adventure abroad. In the search for even bigger challenges Kian flew to the western area of France in 2014. In the football club FC Nantes he met a winning culture, which he had never experienced before.
It is very different from Denmark.
In Nantes they have a president, who owns the club. Especially I remember one game we played against Marseille. We didn’t stand a chance.
Everyone in the dressing room looked at the floor as our president walked in:
“From now on we will train two times a day... for the whole week!”
That was the way he punished us.
It was tough in some way, but actually, I understood it.
If we didn’t play well, we had to find a solution.
In 2015 Kian returned to Denmark and played for FC Midtjylland for four years. He won medals and played with a lot of experienced players, but in the summer of 2019 Kian moved to Farum with the ambition of developing his leadership. Clearly he remembers the very first day in FC Nordsjælland, where he immediately became a role model.
I arrived early in the morning. Even the press didn’t know I was coming.
When I met the players for the first time, they had breakfast and had a tactical presentation prior to the game against FC Midtjylland, funnily enough.
I remember especially one episode from my first training session.
Maxwell Woledzi asked me: “How much does it take for me to play on the Superliga-team?”
And I was like, wow already, I just arrived.
Later I realised that his question planted a seed in me.
He didn’t even finish his first training, before one of the young guys asked for a piece of advice. Previously Kian has played with some big personalities, and maybe that made it difficult for him to step inside the spotlight and share his knowledge. In Farum he couldn’t hide anymore.
I have always thought that I had some form of leader in me.
But I haven't been showing it.
The moment you feel safe in a protected environment, you don’t need to stand out and say something. Often you can hide yourself. And I did that in Midtjylland.
I can’t hide in here.
I need to stand forward.
I need to be a leader.
Kian has changed, but to fully understand why, we have to take a step back. A step back to the backseat of his parents car on the way home to Grinsted.
I played a tournament in Vejle, where the best players got selected for the U16-national team.
And I wasn’t picked and I blamed everyone except myself.
On the way home my parents gave me a telling-off for blaming others.
They told me to start looking at myself… Did I do enough? Stop pointing an accusing finger at everyone else. I needed to take responsibility for my own success and my failure.
That conversation was a turning point for me.
The small seed Maxwell had planted in Kian, started to sprout.
For the first time in his career Kian recently got a long term injury. Instead of watching the injury as a defeat he saw it as an opportunity.
We recently had a meeting, when the club was sold. After the meeting I was talking with Jan Laursen, who asked:
“What are we gonna do with Maxwell? We want to send him out on a loan spell. He needs to play more.”
I looked at him and said:
“I don’t think that is a good idea. I will do everything I can to get him ready for the Superliga. And we will do it within a half a year. “
Earlier, Max has played a little bit here and there, but now he has played seven incredible important Superliga-matches. I tip my hat to his performance.
His effort is laudable.
I could see something in Max. He has always meant a lot to me. Even for the first minute.
As I get older, I have thoughts about being a coach after the end of my career - especially here at FC Nordsjælland.
I can’t think of a better place to be a coach.
As a football player you are used to getting everything served.
But what does it take to be a coach and set up a training?
For a couple of weeks I have been participating in U17-team’s training sessions and guiding the talented boys. Once again I challenged my comfort zone.
It’s about development: Seeing the young players improve and planting a strong winning mentality.
Losing or winning is still essential for Kian, of course, but it seems like his perspective has changed. The purpose is not just about winning on the pitch or for yourself, it is about using your success to give back to others, helping them to succeed. That little boy hiding in the woods has become a leader.
I have learned that you have to start with the man in the mirror. You always have to look at yourself before you point fingers at others.
Generally it’s a bad thing to blame others in team sport.
If you do, you can’t develop as a player or even as a human being.
