Florentina Olar | A mother’s love
Dear mom,
What you are about to read now, I would never be able to tell you. I get too emotional. Always…
Maybe you're gonna hear something new.
But you know, I love you - And I know, you love me.
“I wanted to be the best too. That was my dream”
I remember that I played with the boys on the street in Constanța. The goals were made by four rocks, and when a car was coming, we just moved the rocks and took a break.
Looking back, it’s funny that I didn't know a girl’s team existed at that time...I just played with the boys.
One day dad gave me a present. A plastic ball. Nothing special, but I loved it. That ball was the only reason I was allowed to play with the big boys.
I remember, I felt like I was really cool. But on the other hand, I was the one who made the rules. After all it was MY ball.
So when I got angry, and I definitely did, I just picked up the ball and went home.
Women's football was not a thing at that time. People saw me play and said football is not for girls. That it would develop my body in the wrong way and all those weird things.
Constanța was the place we grew up. It’s a tourist city near the Black Sea in the south east area of the country. I think it’s the fourth largest city in Romania.
Football and tennis are big things in our country. Actually we have a pretty good history in both. Gheorghe Hagi. He was a great football player and captain of FC Barcelona. And Simona Halep. She was once the world’s greatest tennis player. Both of them are from Constanța. So of course, we are big dreamers.
I wanted to be the best as well. That was my dream.
Dad is a former professional boxer, and was on the national team. While you were working and my sister was in school, he had to take care of me.
As a child, I could not stand still for more than two seconds.
I remember one time I was going with dad for a boxing match. I went downstairs before him and when he came, ready to go… My clothes were very dirty, because I was climbing in some trees with my friends.
I remember him saying:
“Can't you just relax for two minutes? Now we're late!”
That was the kind of child I was.
“I want to make you proud…”
I really wanted to be the best, and I would do anything in the world to achieve it.
So I traveled to the best team in Romania. They played in Cluj, which is a city 700 kilometres away from my hometown.
I was still a kid when I left you and the rest of the family. Only 16 years old. Back then I didn’t know how much it means to live with your family….
Of course you were worried: “You can’t do that.. What about your school?”
I was good in school, but my focus was only on football.
Today I understand your reaction. That is the way mothers behave: “Oh no, will she be alright?”
A mother always wants the best for her child. So I think it is normal to feel that way.
Dad knows everything about professional sport, so I talked with him about it. Finally you were convinced, but I did not know how tough it would be.
The first couple of months in Cluj I called you from the post office. I didn’t have a phone myself, so I had to pay for the call… or actually you did.
I used to talk with you about anything. You knew everything I did.
But now that I had moved to Cluj… The only thing you managed to ask was if I was okay. And then we cried for five minutes. We could not stand more.
At the time, I did not know how hard it must have been for you because I was so preoccupied with football. But as soon as I became a mother myself, I understand how you must have felt...
I know that you missed me.
Every holiday I visited you and the rest of the family. It was rare we had time off, so it was all about being together. I remember that you were always cooking my favorite dish: a kind of chicken schnitzel. Your signature dish.
It wasn’t easy to move away from you. I still recall the last thing I said before leaving.
Every time it was tough for me, I looked back on those words:
I want to make you proud….
In 2003 I played in the Champions League for the first time. We faced a Swedish team called Umeå IK. They had a Finnish striker, Laura Kalmari.
She was my idol.
After a couple of years I had a match with the national team in Algarve in Portugal. We played against Laura, who had brought her child with her. And then I was like: “Okay, this is my next dream.”
I really wanted a child. It would be fantastic to be with my kid when I was called up for the national team… And then it happened.
My husband Rares and I always wanted a child, but because of my job it was not that easy in terms of timing.
But I will never forget holding my child in my arms for the first time and feeling him on my body...
Patrick Alexandru Olar
“… I just wanted him to be proud of me”
I want to tell you about one of the greatest moments of my life. I will never forget it.
We played an international match in Cluj. You know, the place I moved to back then. I had Patrick with me. I think he was 1,5 years old, so he was a little boy. He was still using his dummy.
While the national anthem was playing, I was standing on the pitch with Patrick in my hand. At that moment I felt like the most happy and lucky person in the world. I had the two things, that means everything for me:
Football and my son.
It’s the greatest feeling a player can ever experience.
I tried to fight back my tears, because a team captain needs to keep focussing on the match.
But as soon as I stepped on the pitch, I started crying.
I felt my body shaking and looked at Patrick.
Is this real? Are you mine?
It meant everything to me.
When you succeed both professionally and in your family life, I don’t think that you can achieve more.
… I just wanted him to be proud of me.
When you have the opportunity, you always follow my games. Even though you don't know anything about football, you still try to give me some good advice. It shows that you are interested and want the best for me. Every time you talk to your friends, you mention my name.
You were at the stands that day, and I know that you were proud of me.
On Monday your grandson, Patrick, has his first day in kindergarten.
I have known for a long time that this day would come.
But as soon as I received the official papers, I became so nervous: “Oh no, will he be alright?”
New institution, children and nursery teachers. Everything is different. I think it shows pretty well how it is to be a mother. I know it’s gonna be fine, but still you can not avoid getting nervous…
I have to find a balance. Sometimes he needs to bang his head against a brick wall.
What about the day Patrick wants to move away, just like I did?
Well, that is a great question. Actually I have been thinking about that. I will support him without a doubt, if he thinks it’s the right thing to do. Then we have to see how it will go. Of course it will be difficult, but yeah… That is the definition of a mothers feelings for her child. I have tried that on my own body.
I think every mother is the best for her own kid in her own way.
Mothers are that warm place, you always can come back to no matter what.
“Follow your dreams”
Dear son,
Follow your dreams.
If you have a goal, then go for it, even if the road seems bumpy.
When you move away from us, you have to work twice as hard. I know the hard work pays off.
I achieved the things I decided:
I made my mother proud. And I got you.
And I will always follow your dreams and support you as well.
Never forget that warm place.
Love, your mother
Florentina Olar